


The plan for tonight. - This wasn't it!

by Chocoflower



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Demons, Halloween, M/M, hinted Bofur/Dwalin, metioned Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocoflower/pseuds/Chocoflower
Summary: Fili had plans. And they always worked.For now his plan was to spend the weekend in this creepy hotel (rumored to be run by Vampires) with his two friends.Of course he had more plans. But there was no need to unnerve Ori more than he already was.---Kili only had wanted to know why the three guest of their hotel where up and about in the middle of the Night.He had not expect to meet Him. And of course he made a fool out of himself.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. 'Tis is just a branch. Would you calm the fuck down?

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh.  
> Ok. So I had this idea in my head since Halloween.  
> And today I wrote it all out. (It is not beta-read at all)  
> Three chapters! Fuck.  
> Well, anyway.  
> Tell me what you think of it. :D

The castle loomed in front of them. Dark and menacing. It looked just like it sprung directly out of a horror Movie.

The only thing missing to make the scenery perfectly finished, Fili mussed, would be dark clouds and the strike of lightning. But of course the weather had no sense for this style and was as sunny as any normal sunny day.  
Whoever made this Castle into a Hotel had either a weird sense of humor or just had a spooky style. Not that he disagreed with any of that. And of course the fact the richer people were the weirder they got, this hotel had made use of this. Luckily for him and his bankaccount he wasn’t the one paying for this trip. No, he had only picked the location. It has its perks to be friends with a rich son.

“This was a bad idea.”

“What? Oh no, Ori. Come on. It is just a really old castle. And not even night yet.”, Fili looked at his old childhood friend.

“So? I know exactly why you picked this place. You hate me.”

“What are you two blabbing about?” Legolas took his phone down, he had made several photos of the castle and of the wood surrounding it.

“Fili is being an ass.”, Ori growled.

“What else is new?”

\--------

“And so the next day they were all found dead. Shred to pieces.”, finished Legolas in a grand style.  
Ori groaned and Fili sniggered.  
His friend was easily spooked, but he had agreed to share Horror Stories. So this was kind of his own fault.

A thumping sound interrupted their little gathering.

“What was that?” squeaked Ori.

“Relax.”, Fili leaned back against the bed and stretched his legs out. “My guess is the wind let a branch thump against one of the windows.”

“Right. Yes.”

“Or”, started Legolas “It is the crazy Axeman breaking into the hotel. And this noise was just the door breaking down.”

Fili snorted “And I am Baba Yaga, here to turn each one of you into tiny birds.”  
Again the thumping sound.

Ori looked unsure to Fili and then to Legolas.

“Let’s go and check it out.”, Fili moaned. “If we don’t Ori won't sleep. And if he doesn’t sleep, we won't either.”  
He knew his Friend just too well. If he didn’t prove to Ori that it wasn’t a ghost, demon or something like that, Ori would insist on keeping the light on and would babble about anything just so it wouldn’t be quiet. And that meant that Fili wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. And he would need all the sleep he could get.  
He grabbed the Flashlight and opened the door of their room.

The high ceiling of the floor made everything look even more threatening than it already was, just because it was night. The walls looming up, the portrays eyes of generations old looking with their age at the group of three walking past them.

Ori found Filis arm and grabbed it.

“I don’t like this.”, he whispered.

“You never do.”, Fili whispered back and grinned.

“Why do you like this so much anyway? What if it is a murderer?”

“I always look at the bright side of things. I wouldn’t have to pay my student debts anymore.”

Ori groaned at the bad pun, especially since Fili was one of the few lucky people who had no problem with his debts.  
Being friendly and having a good work ethic got you a good paycheck in several coffee shops, not to speak of all the tips he could collect.

The thumping sound echoed to them.  
Ori squeaked and squeezed Fili’s arm.

“Do you know what I heard about this hotel?” Legolas leaned to them over.

“No. And I don’t want you to tell me!” hissed Ori.

“I heard that the family is full of vampires. And-”

“I said I don’t want to know! Why am I friends with you?!”

Fili laughed quietly.  
Vampires.  
Of course that would scare Ori.  
Almost everything scared Ori.

“Stop putting shadow figures in his head, Legs. Or nothing will be able to calm him down. Not even me.”

Fili pushed the door to the Gallery open.  
They had been in here and looked at all the antique paintings, swords, armors, jewellery and so on.  
Ori had loved it, because it was History. And as a history student he had felt right at home.  
Now, in the night, he didn’t seem to like it at all anymore.

“Fili?” he whispered and his eyes followed the Flashlight, that Fili was leading securely over the room.

Things glinted in the light and vanished into the darkness, when he continued.

Stepping in deeper, he pulled Ori along.  
Legolas followed them in and closed the heavy door with a soft thud behind him. Which got him a glare from Ori.

Fili pulled him to the old jewellery, which had belonged to some old Baroness or something in the 14th century.  
The sapphires glinted in the light, but Fili was more interested in the window behind it.

“See? Just a branch hitting the window.”

“You don’t know that. It hasn't done that yet. And a branch against a window here would never be so loud. It couldn’t have reached our room!”, argued Ori.

Fili sighed and watched how the branch moved slightly, not hitting the window. Not yet.

“Who are you?”

Ori screamed, Legolas shouted and Fili’s arm was almost ripped off.

Then silence fell over the big hall.

Fili finally managed to turn around, a hard action because it meant he had to move a frozen Ori with him.  
Right behind them stood a young man.  
Brown wavy hair and a concerned smile on his face.

“Sorry. There was just no way how I could not scare you.”

Fili shrugged “That is obvious. We are Guests here. And you?”

“Oh. I am Kili. Part of the people who run this hotel. Your hear because of a strange noise or?” he didn’t finish his sentence.

Ori nodded “yeah. We - ahm. We heard a loud thumb.”, his voice was shaking and his body still showed how frightened he was.

Kili grinned, his teeth flashing white in the flashlight, that Fili still held on him.  
“Just one of the many branches against one of the many windows. The acoustics of this castle are amazing. You can hear if someone is in the kitchen, when you are sitting in the library.”

Fili turned his head to Ori, already a smug grin on his face.  
“Told yoooouuuu.”, he sang and moved closer to Kili. Pulling Ori automatically with him.

“Let me escort you back to your room. Wouldn’t want you to get lost.”, his eyes glanced at Fili. “Or expedition.”

Fili raised one of his eyebrows. “Scarred that I would find one of your dirty little family secrets?”

Kilis deep laugh filled the hall as he pulled the heavy door open.

They stepped again into the high floor.

“Like the one that they are Vampires?” asked Legolas.

“Oh boy. That is still flying around?” Kili closed the door again.

Legolas nodded.

“I can assure you that there are no vampires here.”, Kili started to lead them down the floor.

Ori finally let Filis arm go. Apparently he had calmed down enough through Kilis presence.  
Which would be weird, if Fili wouldn’t know exactly how good a calm and friendly presence could calm Ori. The speed was just surprising.

“Well, we can say for certainty that you aren’t one.”

Kili turned around and stared at Fili surprised.

“How that?”

“Let’s check the list. Legolas what qualifies someone as a Vampire?” Fili looked up at his other friend.

“Extremely pale.”, started Legolas.

“Saw several humans paler than you. So no.”

“Undead.”

“No as well. He is walking, talking, breathing - Do I need to go on?”

“Bites humans and drinks blood.”

“And no again. None of us was bitten by you.”

“Maybe I am just waiting for a better opportunity?” asked Kili.

Fili shrugged “You just missed it in the big hall then.”

“Charming.”, went Legolas on.

“Well, that would be a yes. The first one.”, agreed Fili.

“Very handsome and sexy.”, finished the large blonde.

“And that is a hard no.”, said Fili and walked past by Kili, reaching the door of their room.

“Excuse me?” gasped Kili, but a smile was on his face.

Fili looked back at him with a small smile, “Sweetie, you are anything but sexy. Or handsome. You are cute.”

“And everyone knows that a true Vampire is never cute.”, agreed Legolas and opened the door, vanishing into it. Ori followed quickly, reaching some sort of safety.

“Cute?” asked Kili, this time clearly a little offended.

“Yes.”, Fili smirked and turned out the flashlight.

The only light was now from the slightly open door of their room. It made it hard to see Kili, but it gave him the opportunity for something-

Suddenly there was Kili right in front of him.  
Fili didn’t even flinch, only tilted his head slightly upwards.

Dang. The guy was only a few centimeters bigger than him, but that only made him so more enticing.

“And I think you are lying.”, whispered Kili and laid his hand onto Fili’s hip.

Fili stretched himself upward. Their faces so close, that their noses were touching.

“You”, whispered Fili, being aware of how rough his voice suddenly sounded.  
“Are”, he leaned even closer, his lips now gracing Kili’s cheek slightly.

“An utter Idiot.”, he finished laughing loudly and pushed the other one away, entering his room and closing the door.  
Leaving Kili standing alone and stumped in the darkness of the floor.  
If anyone else would have been there, they might have thought that Kili’s eyes flashed red.  
But that probably had only been a trick of the mind in the darkness.

\------

“It is him. I know it is. I felt it!”, Kili looked outside the window into the garden. The Sunlight illuminating it.

“And?” His uncle looked up from his book, quite annoyed, since this had already started a few hours ago and he knew what else Kili would say now. Because he had already said it before.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Kili looked at his uncle for help.

Thorin sighed and closed the book.  
“You know as well as I do what needs to be done.”

Bilbo's cough sounded already unhappy.

“It is the way we do things, Love.”, said Thorin, reaching out for his husband.

“Well yes. But, and I believe I said that, it is not really polite. He won't even have a possibility to agree to it. That is just wrong, Thorin.”

Kili agreed silently.  
Maybe he could charm Fili enough to get him to stay?  
He had admitted freely that Kili was charming, so he could work with that.

\-------

Fili waved at the retreating cap.

Ori and Legolas had gotten a text message that their presence was needed back home.  
It didn’t surprise him.  
Both of their families never quite understood the friends weekend trips and more often than not, one of them had to leave early because of some reason. This was just the first time it happened to be both.

“You are not leaving?”

Fili turned and looked at Kili, who somehow managed to walk quietly on gravel.

“The room is rented until tomorrow. The two just got a call from their families. Nothing bad, but still kind of urgent. Happens all the time.”

“Won't you be bored all alone?” He grinned at him, his teeth flashing.

“No. Because I still got a lot to see around here. And I am not alone, am I?” Fili smirked.

A little flirt couldn’t hurt. And Kili was cute, no question about that.

“Really? I thought you had the tour yesterday.”

“I did. But Ori refused to see the Morgue closer. And it was too late to see the rose garden. A fact that Legolas hated. Remind me to send him tons of pictures, just so I can rub it in his face that I could see it.”, Fili walked away and grabbed his phone from his pocket. Should he send Ori pictures of the Morgue? mmmmh.

“Now that is a shame. The rose Garden is beautiful at this time of the year. I even can show you the best spot.”, Kili’s hand wrapped around Fili’s arm and pulled him into the opposite direction.

Fili smiled. Today would turn out to be even more fun than he had hoped.  
He wondered how long Kili managed to keep him away from the Morgue? And how far would the boy go?

\--------

Turned out that Kili managed to keep Fili from the Morgue for the whole day.  
Now that is what Fili called determination.  
On the other hand, saying no to that smile had shown itself to be an impossible feat.  
But teasing the other one had been easy. And when Kili had finally started to tease back the time spent together had become quite heated.  
Fili still wasn’t sure what to think of some of the names and attributes Kili had given him over the afternoon.  
Sparks certainly had been flying between them.  
And Fili thought every time Kili stepped closer or turned to him, that now, certainly now he would be kissed.

But nothing had happened.  
At all.

Which was very frustrating.

He closed his satchel and touched the small purple stone around his neck.

“Ready for some little fun?” he murmured.

The stone seemed to flash, even move a little under his hand. The light reflecting from the purple caught a red stone at his bracelet, inflaming it.

He pushed the door open and looked back into the room. Checking if everything was still were it was supposed to be.

The flashlight was laying on the table, clear to be seen.  
Every bed was made perfectly.  
Filis luggage open and empty, his clothes still in the closet. His boots standing neat right next to the door.  
His phone turned off on one of the Night Tables.  
The most important part was that Fili wasn’t in it anymore.

He just wanted to leave the room tidy. Nothing was worse than a guest with bad manners after all.

Now.

Time to break into a Morgue.  
A big smile formed on his face. He loved when his plans worked.


	2. A flash of flaming red. Feeling hot are we?

Fili looked at the inscriptions.  
The information would be very useful for him.

Kilian Primus Durin

Primus.  
He snorted. Now there was a tradition kept upright.  
Not that he complained.  
But it was oh so typical and predictable for them.

He sat on the stone coffin, pulling his notebook out. The owner probably didn’t mind, Fili figured. And if he did he would just have to say so.

No use in letting precious time run pass without being productive.  
A small light orb bobbed next to him. Making it possible to see just a little bit of the surroundings.  
In the notebook were weird signs and small pictures. The only thing stopping it from looking like an old witch journal was the clear new cover and pages, as well as all the many doodles of cats and stars, interrupting the flow of creepiness.

Fili put his hand back into his satchel, pulling out a small and very smooth ball.  
It was pitchblack, like the rest of the Morgue. An onyx crystal.

He tapped it a few times, making it light up with gold lines criss crossing over it. Then the golden lines formed into small figures, walking, sitting and standing in it.

Nothing out of the ordinary yet.

Fili smiled.  
If they just knew who their guest was- well. What their only guest for the night was.  
He lifted the crystal up and let it go.  
Against every rule of gravity, the crystal remained in the air. But it wasn’t floating like the light bulb, it seemed more as if laying on an invisible table.

Fili looked down at his notebook and turned a few pages.  
Now, where had he written it down?

He really needed to get some order into his notebook.  
But somehow he never got around to it. And so nothing was sorted. His thoughts, ideas, plans and dreams all written down in no order into this little book.

A small black cat jumped up next to him. A small purple stone around it’s collar showing that it belonged to someone.  
Without looking up Fili let his hand rest on the head, stroking it between the ears.  
The cat curled down next to his leg, purring content.

A very odd scene indeed.  
Fili’s lips moved into a small smile.  
If only Ori knew - he would totally freak out.  
Ghosts and Vampires were only the tip of the Iceberg.  
There were far more dangerous creatures lurking in this world.

A few of them right here.  
And not to forget the ordinary human. It always astounded Filli how often they overlooked their own monstrous qualities.  
Torture was something the humans invented. Cruelty was something so very human. You only had to look at history. It always lifted its ugly head.  
Slavery - also an invention of them. No monster would have gotten the idea to possess another being.  
French Revolution - for some time the streets were full of the blood of the dead. The blade of the Guillotine working non stop.  
And of course: The witch hunts and the tortures to get the confessions.  
Only humans would get such cruel ideas.  
Even demons shrieked away from such things.

\--------

Kili stared at the empty beds.  
Everything in him was frozen.

He had hoped to get Fili through the day close enough, so that it wouldn’t feel like taking the choice away from him.  
But it hadn’t worked. Not really.  
Fili had been taken with him. But not as taken as he should have been.  
Kili almost had exhausted all of his powers on him. A normal person would have been on their knees begging Kili for just a touch after a few minutes of that. But not Fili. No.  
He had blushed - and what a pretty blush that was - and smiled shyly at Kili. But nothing else happened, no sign that Fili had been enthralled.

And now he had the audacity to not be sleeping in his bed, ready to become Kilis marked Mate.  
He was gone.

No.  
Not gone.  
He couldn’t have gone. His things were still here.

Phone, Clothes, Flashlight, Books, Luggage - Flashlight?!

Fili was around the castle without a light?  
There were several places that were dangerous to walk into without light.  
He could break his neck if he stumbled down the stairs to the wine cellar.

The gruesome picture of Fili, his limbs twisted wrongly, neck broken, eyes unblinking and dead, came unbidden into his head.  
He shaked his head furiously.

No.  
This wouldn’t happen.  
He would find him before anything happened to his golden one.

Kili closed his eyes.  
A heartbeat. Fili had one, and that meant that Kili could find him. A good thing that there were no other guests in the hotel or it would become tricky to locate the right one.  
But like this he just had to look for one strong heartbeat.

His eyes snapped open.

Six strong heartbeats.

No.  
Nono.  
How?!

He ran outside the room and hurried to the library.

Danger had found their family once again.

Hunters!

The Main Door creaked open as Kili closed the door to the library carefully behind him.

Thorin looked concerned at his nephew.  
Kili hissed “Hunters” and quickly Thorin vanished into the shadows, probably looking for his husband, wanting to protect the smaller one.  
Hopefully Fili was somewhere safe and the Hunters would leave him alone, given that he was just a normal mortal.

\--------

Fili cursed at the crystal.

New figures had joined the other golden ones.  
Weapons on their backs and in their hands.

Why had they had to come today of all days?!  
Couldn’t they have waited one - One Day?!  
All he had wanted was this night. No interruptions. But noooooo.

Hunters!  
A pure annoyance and no real danger. Not for him.  
Not anymore.  
But it meant that his plan was canceled. And would now never come to pass. He pressed his teeth together.

Well, they would quickly find out that no one crossed his plans and got away with it.  
Especially such a plan like this. He had worked on it for centuries! Using much of his magic to predict the time, the place, the person. And of course the message to get rid of his friends.

He tipped the redstone at his bracelet.

“Great our new guest, would you? We don’t want them to get cold now, do we?”

Red smoke parted from the stone, leaving it empty and clear.   
The red smoke drifted up the stairs of the morgue and vanished.

Fili watched how the cat jumped after it. It’s tail swishing once, twice, before the black fur became one with the darkness.

He jumped off the coffin. A clicking sound echoed through the Morgue as his feet met the stone ground.  
Grabbing the crystal ball, he nibbled at his under lip and moved his hand forcefully over the smooth surface.  
Some Golden figures vanished until only five remained.

Fili nodded slightly.  
Seemed as if the hunters kept their traditions as well.

Walking between the coffins he left the Morgue. The small light flying softly next to him, showing him where the stairs started.  
Which each step a soft clicking sound echoed between the stone walls.

Silent darkness once again the only thing in the Morgue, falling over the few names and their empty coffins.

Filis Plan had failed, because new players had entered the game.  
And now it was a completely new game. A Game Fili had gotten quite good at.  
He would not lose.

Not when he was this pissed.

\------

Four humans stood in the entry hall, looking around.

Kili saw the arrows, the bows and the knives. They were here to kill.  
He stood in one of the many hidden alcoves high up in the walls. No normal human could reach them without a ladder, and seeing them in this darkness was impossible for them.  
For now he only had to watch and wait.

Light flooded the room, blinding Kili for a few seconds, his eyes not prepared for it. He pressed himself into the shadow. Only then he dared to look down.

The big fireplace had been lit.  
The flames danced widely around in it.

The Hunters had turned sharply to it, their weapons up and ready for a fight.  
No One stood even close to it.

Kili frowned.  
They hadn’t done it. And he hadn’t, and none of the other vampires would give the humans the perks of seeing them coming.  
Something else was going on here.

“So pleased to meet you.”, a teasing voice echoed through the hall.  
New flames showed up, each candle lighting up. Even the ones of the old chandelier, which they had stopped using after Kili had turned 18.

A Man stood at the last step of the stairs, right between the last two candles that lit up.  
An unknown man.  
Red hair, freckles, somehow his skin glowing. His eyes reflected the light of the dancing flames.

The hunters turned sharply to him, but didn’t attack.

Whoever this man was, he was clearly not a Vampire.  
No Vampire looked like this, even with a lot of glamour and illusion.

“Who are you?” asked the leader of the hunters, the only one who had not yet pulled his weapon. Two mean looking swords at his back.

“Ah. Getting right to the topic.”, hummed the red haired man and stepped down from the last stair. “You can call me Nori.”, A mocking bow followed and a grin, telling of many more insults, showed on his face.

“You are not a Vampire.”, stated one of the two woman of the group.

“Keen eyes, Miss. Indeed, I am not a bloodsucker.”, with no fear in his face or his body, the man, who called himself Nori, stepped through the hunters right to the fireplace.  
His hand reached into the fire - and the fire treated him like an excited puppy, his master, that had been gone too far long (Which could go from five seconds to five centuries - dogs were weird like that).

“Demon”, hissed one of the other hunters.  
And the group took as one a step back.

The fire danced widely again, and one of the candles flared. Hot wax hit the hunter that had spoken at his right cheek, making him scream in pain.

“I don’t like that word.”, Nori’s smile hadn’t changed.

But his eyes - Kili noticed that his first observation had been wrong. They didn’t reflect the flames. They hold flames in themselves, behind the normal looking eyes they were burning, dancing - a completely different flame than that in the fireplace or of the candles.

The leader grabbed in one of his pockets.  
Another flare, another small scream of pain as the same hunter was hit once more with hot wax.

“I wouldn’t recommend doing that, you know.”, the words were directed at the leader. “How about you tell me your name? After all, you have mine.”

“A fake one, for certain.”, said the Leader. “None of us would be foolish enough to give one like you their real name.”

Nori sighed disappointed, pulled his hand out of the fire and it stayed around his hand. Licking at the skin, but not burning it away.

Kili had never seen a Demon. Not a real one.  
But the tales his mother told him had been frightening enough to make him comply to go early to bed when he was younger.  
And Names.  
Names hold power. Immense power.  
If you had the name of someone, you could do a lot of things.  
That is why Vampires had four names. And one was only known by them, their parents and - if they had them - Their mate.  
Names were guarded. They were a major weakness of everyone. And Demons worked with them on a regular basis.

“So impolite. Alright. Then I will call you Master Hunter”, he pointed at the Leader. “You are”, his flaming finger wandered to the woman who had spoken and wiggled a little. “Miss Obvious, obviously. You over there”, the finger wandered to the hunter who had yet to say or do anything “You will be - mmh. Ah yes. Little John. I always liked Robin Hood, you know? And you have the statue for it.”, The Grin was friendly and playful, not showing any kind of malice in it, fitting to the very lighthearted tone of his voice.

“What about me?” hissed the Hunter who had been hit twice by the hot wax in his face.

“What about you?” the hand dropped, he turned to the hunter and shrugged carelessly. “Why name someone who will die in a few seconds anyway?”

The hunters tensed and their leader pulled a flask out of the pocket.

Nori fletched his teeth. There was just no other way of putting it.  
But as quick as it had come, it vanished and Nori looked once more calm and collected.

“Holy water.”, he could as well have told them the weather forecast. “You know that really always puzzled me. So much work for such a small phiole of it. Do you have anymore than that one?”

“For you this one will suffice.”, the leader smiled and there was no kindness in it.

Nori nodded sagely and his hand reached up.  
Flames dancing on it.  
A blood curdling scream sounded through the hall, bouncing off the stone.

The unnamed Hunter fell, his body crumbling to ash. His sword glowing in an angry shade of red felt clanging onto the ground, bending it.  
It happened in seconds. The extreme heat that had been used, hit Kili a few moments later.

When he looked again, Nori had vanished and the Hunters were in a triangle, ready to defend themselves. Their leader was still holding the phiole of Holy Water.

The candles went out, one by one. Until the only thing left was the fireplace, peacefully burning away.

A small sound came from the door to the dining room, it had opened only a crack.

An arrow was shot, and it clattered to the ground. Followed by a hiss and a scarred mew.

A small black cat was hunched right in front of the door.  
The fire inside the dining room, showing how small it really was.

“Just a cat.”, grumbled the Hunter named Little John and reloaded his crossbow. Kili decided to go with the names the Demon had given them. That way he could keep them easier apart.

Kili looked at the Cat surprised. It was tiny!  
And it was weird. They had no Cat.  
Cat’s didn’t like Vampires.  
Animals didn’t like Vampires. Their instinct telling them that they were in the presence of a deadly hunter.  
Probably just a stray, who had wandered in through the kitchen, he figured. It happened. Not often, but it did. Especially with young ones.

Kilis' attention wandered back to the Hunters.

Master Hunter stepped to the fireplace and kneeled down, glaring into the flames.

Was he not worried that the Fire would attack him?

But he was clearly not frightened at all.  
And the fire remained safely inside the fireplace.

Then the hiss of extinguished flames filled the room and it went dark.  
A scream of gut wrenching pain filled the hall, together with the smoke. The smell of burning flesh filled the hall.

Kili held his hand before his nose and mouth, trying not to throw up.

“What about the contract partner?” asked Miss Obvious.

“They should be free now. The Demon is dead after all.”, the Leader stepped away from the fireplace.

“Yes. But no Vampire could make a contract with a Demon.”, Little John glared at the fireplace. “There has to be a Human here.”


	3. Yours truly: The King of Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter.  
> And in this one a lot happens - like a LOT.  
> I know the whole lovestory of Fili/Kili hasn't happened - but it is just the way they met.  
> Vampires know as soon as they see their Soulmate - And Fili... lets just say he has his own way of doing stuff.

“Yes. But no Vampire could make a contract with a Demon.”, Little John glared at the fireplace. “There has to be a Human here.”

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

A Man stood in the door to the dining room, pushing it more open.  
He had brown hair, braided into two plaits and a moustache. His smile was kind, friendly and open. His pants were baggy, and he wore a big hoodie. But the big clothes could not hide his strong muscles. Heavy boots were on his feet and they made small thudding noises when he walked over to the fireplace.

“My, my. What an elegant way to fight, Master Hunter.”, his voice was melodious and deep. A voice you would find in a tavern, offering a drink - or two - and a song to forget today's worries.

“And who are you? The Contract Partner?” asked Miss Obvious and aimed her shotgun at him.

“Yes, indeed!” laughed the man. “That would be me. The name I am currently holding is Bofur.” He waved slightly and kneeled down next to the fireplace, looking at the ash.

He clicked his tongue unsatisfied. “They really did a number on you, huh?”

Smoke rose from the fireplace, it had hardly any form, and a slight pinkish colour. Curling around Bofur it formed an uncertain hand. Then a face, the smoke making it hard to define, where what started or remained. But it was a face.

“That hurt.”, the voice was hardly more than a whisper.

“I can only imagine. Well, I made you a little cozy place over there to heal.”, he gestured to the open dining room. “I will take over from here.”, with that the Smoke flew into the dining room. The firewood the crackled loud, then the light became dull, before it became stronger. A sigh reached the Hall and Noris' voice, now stronger, said “Soooo much better.”

Bofur stood up and looked at the Hunters, his head crooked as if he was examining a very interesting butterfly.

“That should have killed him.”, mumbled Miss Obvious.

Kili could only agree.  
Holy Water was serious business. And for a Demon it was a sure death sentence.

“Oh no, Miss. I am afraid you are four centuries too late for that.”, Bofur shook his head sadly.

“Too Late? You mean he-”, Master Hunter stopped and stared at Bofur.

“Yes.”, he clapped into his hands joyfully. “I can see you are the intelligent one here. Nori can’t die. Not anymore.”

“Fuck.”, cursed the Leader.

“What?” asked Miss Obvious. “I don’t understand.”

“Nori is not a demon. He is a ghost.”, explained Master Hunter, not leaving Bofur out of his sight.

“Ghost? Oh no. Or at least not all, that he is. We prefer to call him: Vengeful Spirit. Or Fire Wraith. Pick whatever you think is more fitting. It sums him up so much more better.”

“But you said that you are a-”

“Contract Partner, yes. And I am one. But I think you don’t quite understand the whole picture here.”, Bofur took a step closer. “Nori is not a contract partner.” His whole body leaned forward and he smiled gently at the Hunters. “Who of you will come to the solution, I wonder…”

“You are the Demon!” gasped the woman.

“Oh!” Bofur clapped delightedly in his hands and made a somersault. “Yes! Indeed. What a clever woman. I am the Demon. Now, since you seemed so well informed about people of the dark. Can you guess what demon I am?”

“Quite unimportant. We are not here for you or your contract partner.”, growled the Leader.

“Oh, I know that. The Vampires.”, hummed Bofur. “But wont you at least amuse little old me? It is so rare that I can interact with others.”

The leader sighed defeated. “Alright. You are not a Fire Demon.”

“Sir?” Little John looked surprised at his Leader.

“He won't leave us until we complied. Isn’t that so?”

“Both correct.”, the smile on Bofur's face promised mischief to be carried out

“So. No Fire Demon. But you have a corporal form. A human one as well. But you need a vessel.”

The cat?! Kili looked for it and there, right in the corner of the hall was the Cat. The Hair standing up and the small body shaking in fear. It pressed itself into the corner.

“Sir Mauncelot.”, Bofur waved lightly at it. “A cute little fellow. And very useful.”

“Killing the vessel wouldn’t help at all. You would just find another one as long as the contract stands.”

Bofur nodded again.

“You are a Trickster.”, Miss Obvious looked at Bofur. “Aren’t you?”

Bofur smiled winningly, “A hundred points for you, Miss.”

“But I thought Tricksters were always these ugly Goblin creatures.”, Little John looked confused between the woman and Bofur back and forth.

Bofur laughed softly and walked over to the stairs. Sitting down on them.

“Not the stronger ones. But having such a form… Not one bit is inhumane about you.”, the Leader frowned at Bofur and his hands found their way to his swords, pulling them free. “You are a Major Demon.”

“Oh yes. Leader of the Tricksters. First of them.”, his head bowed politely. “And the best.” He added in an afterthought.

“Beelzebub.”, the Leader grew pale.

“That's still the name you call me? How very classic and old.”, sniffed Bofur. “I prefer Bofur, if you don’t mind. Beelzebub always sounds so dusty.”

A major Demon.  
Kili stared at him. He heard that they were the ones in charge of Purgatory. And each of them had their specialty.  
Beelzebub.  
Beelzebub.  
A trickster and prankster.  
Not the usual kind of Demon. But that made them so dangerous.  
Even a small trickster demon could do a lot of damage. They were unpredictable, like a timebomb with a malfunctioning timer.

“Who is your Partner?” asked the Leader.

“You will meet him soon enough, I am sure. Now, if you don’t mind, we should wrap this up. Right?” Bofur jumped at Little John.

The big hunter fell, but managed to throw Bofur off, before the Demon could manage to do anything.

“Scatter!” Yelled the Leader and charged up the stairs. “Find the Partner!”

Kili saw how the Woman ran into one of the servant entries, the one who led to the kitchen.  
Bilbo was in the kitchen!  
Quickly he let himself fall down and followed her.

Bilbo was a young vampire, Thorin had found and turned him only fifty years ago. And Bilbo was a gentle soul. Not a fighter.

There was a heavy sound behind him, but Kili ignored it.  
The last Hunter was unimportant right now.

He reached the Kitchen.  
Threw the door open.

The woman was sprawled over the stove, her neck broken. Thorin hovering angrily over her, Bilbo tucked protectly behind him.

Kili felt how he slightly relaxed.

“Kili?” Bilbo peaked over Thorin's shoulder at him.

“I am fine.”, Kili smiled at him.

“But she ain’t!”

Kili turned around and saw into the face of Bofur.

“Broken neck.”, the demon seemed incredibly impressed by it. “And clean too! No icky bone or blood. Nice one, Lord Thorin.”

“Who are you?” asked Thorin and pushed Bilbo once again behind him.

“Bofur.”, said Bofur. “Honored to make your acquaintance. Even we in Hell heard of the great Oakenshield and his victory over Azog.”

“A Demon?” asked Thorin surprised. “How did you get in?”

“Well, how everyone else got in. Through the main Door.”, sniggered Bofur.

Kili blinked at him.  
And then finally he understood.

“Fili!” he gasped. “Fili has a contract with you.”

“He does.”, Bofur agreed and tapped his shoulder slightly. “Speaking of which, I should check on him.”

“Where is he? Is he safe?” Kili felt panic raise inside him.

“He is safer than anyone else in this building. And I think he will be in the Ballroom. He likes to be dramatic, you know? A trait we share.”, Bofur ran back to the Hall.

Kili, Thorin and Killi reached it shortly after him.

The body of the Hunter Little John was laying at the end of the stairs. His head bashed in, as well as his torso.

Sir Mauncelot jumped on him, and from there onto the stairs.

Bilbo whimpered when he saw the dead body.

“It is alright, Love.”, mumbled Thorin.

The cat stopped and looked back.  
A purple stone was around his neck, dangling down and swinging around.

“Sorry for the mess.”, he said in Bofur's voice. “But I had no time to be more careful. After all, I didn’t know if anyone would handle the woman.”

“But the Leader, he is the most dangerous, right?” Kili hurried right next to the Cat.

It nodded and jumped into Kilis arms.

“We need to hurry.”, mumbled Kili. A coldness settled over his body that had nothing to do with his status as an undead.

“Could you go into the upper level of the ball room?” asked Bofur and wiggled out of his arms, when they reached the top of the stairs. “Check the situation out, before engaging, you know?”

Kili watched the small cat disappear into the direction of the Main entrance to the Ballroom.  
Then he turned around and walked to a secret door, pulling it open.

The upper level of the Ballroom could only be reached by either flying or this door. And only a few selected knew of it.

Who was Fili?  
And why did he have a contract with a Demon - a Demon like Bofur?  
Vampires weren't able to make contracts with Demons, since their heart was no longer beating. And Demons only could make contracts with living beings.

\------

The Leader entered into the Ballroom.  
His eyes looking around, searching for any hint.  
But there were too many shadows, the white curtains giving the room a ghostly atmosphere.

Before he could close the door a small black cat hushed in.  
It sat down right in the middle of the ballroom, dropping it’s tail artfully around itself and starting to lick its paw.

“I take your Master is around here then.”, mumbled the Leader.

In the upper level a door opened and Kili walked in.  
The Ballroom had high walls, and went over two floors.  
The walkway he was now on gave him the perfect view.

There was Bofur.  
There the Leader of the Hunter.

Behind one of the Pillars was Dwalin, watching the hunter and cat carefully.

An annoyed sigh filled the Ballroom.

It had not come from the Hunter.  
Definitely not from Dwalin, he never sighed.  
And Bofur was still busy cleaning his cat body.

A Figure slipped around of the Pillars.

Not even Dwalin had seen them, given by his reaction.

Fili!

Kili wanted to jump down and check on him. To pull him away and to safety. Away from this dangerous hunter.

But the blonde seemed relaxed, even bored.

A knife flashed in his hands.  
He was playing with it. It went around his fingers, flying artfully through the air and into his other hand.

“You really have the worst of timing, you know?” asked Fili and pushed himself away from the Pillar.

A Throne screeched over the floor of the Ballroom, right to Bofur.

Kili blinked.  
He hardly remembered this one.

It had belonged to Uncle Thorin ago, when they had been royalty of this Land and it had been expected to have a Throne like that.

But they had stopped using it around the same time they had stopped using the chandeliers and all the other things.  
Times had changed.

Fili stepped over to the chair.  
His steps loud on the floor, clicking.

Only then Kili noticed that the Blonde was wearing High Heels!

Oh fucking-  
That was hot.

With grace Fili sat down on the Throne, crossing his legs and looking at the Hunter.

Like this he looked like a King. And it seemed so right.

Bilbo and Thorin, stepped next to him.

“I didn’t even know we had a Throne.”, whispered Bilbo.

“We don’t use it anymore.”, mumbled Thorin back.

Fili and the Hunter starred at each other.  
Nothing moved for some seconds. It felt like eternity.

Bofur jumped into Filis lap, curling around himself and his eyes closed. Kili could hear the purring from here.

“This really isn’t how I wanted my night to go.”, Fili petted Bofur and pouted.

Kili wanted to see that pout up close. Right now!  
But he didn’t move.  
Couldn’t move.  
It would be wrong, somehow.

Fili looked at the Hunter standing in front of him.

“Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think we have met yet. Augustus Van Helsing, is it?”, his hands found Bofur's ears and scratched between them.

“How do you know my name?” growled the Leader and his two swords went into a protective position.

“I am very good at research.”

“And you are?”

“Fili Brighthead. For now.”

“For now?” Van Helsing raised his eyebrows.

“Well, yes. You see, I am planning to marry soon. And then I couldn’t keep my name, that would be too impolite.”, Fili smiled softly at the Hunter. He had heard the quiet growl of disapproval.  
It seemed that he had an audience.  
Time to go Big, then.  
Not that he hadn’t wanted to do that anyway.

“Lets count your group, shall we?”  
Fili lifted his left hand and looked at his fingers.

“Now. There was the one who got burned by Nori. He really does not like being called a Demon. I think you can imagine why.”, he smiled sheepishly at Van Helsing. The answering smile was more of a grimace than anything else.  
One of Filis Fingers went down.  
“Then there was the Man, his head smashed in by Bofur here.”, he petted Bofur with his right hand. “Normally he is a little bit more tasteful. But time was there of the essence.” Another finger went down.  
“The woman in the kitchen. Broken neck, I believe. She had the bad luck to run into Bilbo and his Mate, Thorin Oakenshield.”, Filis third finger went down. “Vampires are so protective of their Loved ones.”

“Beasts can’t love.”, spat Van Helsing and he stepped a little to the side.

Fili didn’t react.  
“Then there is you of course. Right here in front of me, so you are accounted for. You will excuse me for taking the finger down as well.”, Fili looked at the last finger that remained up.  
“Five Hunters. It is an old tradition. You always go in a group of Five. Four in the front and One to make sure that nothing goes wrong.”

“You are well informed.”

“I told you. I do my research.”, Fili let his hand fall down. “I am sorry to tell you that the fifth one was the most unluckiest of all of you. Was she your niece?”  
Van Helsing had stopped moving and starred at Fili.  
“You have the same nose”, Fili gestured to his own. “She couldn’t have been much older than seventeen. You shouldn’t have taken her.”

“You are bluffing.”

Fili shrugged and pulled his knife out again.  
It gleamed silver.

“She was good. If she would have run into a Vampire she would have been victorious. But she didn’t. I am afraid, she run into me.”, the smile on Filis face was without mercy. “And I was in a bad mood. I still am, if you haven’t noticed.”

Van Helsings eyes were fixed on the glinting knife.

“That is an Athame. A ritual knife.”

Fili shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I would never use an Athame for a fight. Athames aren’t weapons.”

“You are a witch.”, Van Helsing stood up straighter and his eyes completely focused onto Fili.

“A? No, no. Not A witch. The witch.”, Fili smiled brightly at him. “I had a very interesting life. A long one too. And I run into so many of you hunters you would be surprised. You are always so- disruptive.”  
Fili stood up, Bofur maunced disgruntled and ran behind one of the Pillars.

Van Helsing took a step back.

Fili shook his head again.

“What makes you think I would let you go?”

“You are talking quite a lot.”

“I am a dramatic person.”, the doors to the Ballroom opened. “And of course Nori needed some time to gain the right amount of energy.”

Nori entered and closed the doors behind him again.

He was once again glowing on his own.

“How did you get him?” Van Helsing asked.

“Found him in the ruins of a burned down Village. His life story is quite tragic. But I am sure you do not care.”, through Filis fingers the knife slipped out and should have fallen to the Ground.  
The only reason Van Helsing was not laying with a cut throat on the ground had been is quick reaction.

“Very good instincts.”, Fili hummed and waved his hand again. The Throne he had sat one started to hover and flew to the side. The knife returned to his hand.

“Witches don’t get involved in things that don’t concern them. You are always selfish!”, shouted Van Helsing.

Fili rolled his eyes.  
Classic reputations and rumors. Old thinking and so on.

“This is my business. You ruined my night. I had plans and you ruined them by showing up!” He turned around sharply, throwing his knife.

Van Helsing threw himself to the side and rolled away.

“If you wouldn’t have shown up, I would have finally - Finally!” FIli shouted frustrated “Found my One. Do you have any Idea how rare it is for a Witch to have an immortal One? We normally have to find a way to keep them alive. And that always turns out mucky and wrong.”

“A One?” Van Helsing spat at the floor. “One more reason to kill you.” And he charged.

Fili waved his hand as if rejecting an idea.  
Van Helsing was thrown back to the door of the Ballroom.  
Nori grinned down at him. “I wouldn’t fight it, if I were you.”

Fili stepped closer, glarring at the Human on the ground.

“You Hunters believe that Humans are the rarest and purest of creatures. Everyone that is even remotely different has to be a monster. Even the ones who aren’t! Do you have any Idea how many innocent humans you hunters killed in the past? Just take the Witch Hunts.”, Fili waved his hand. “That is why Witches are selfish. We learned to keep our things close to us, to keep them safe. Have a nice journey to Hell. Good Bye, Augustus Van Helsing.”

The knife slashed over his throat and he fell back onto the floor.  
Blood running onto the floor.

Nori stepped carefully around it.

Fili lifted his hand and Nori turned to dark red smoke, vanishing into the clear crystal on his bracelet, turning it blood red.

“Bofur?”

“Yes?”

“You alright?”

“Better than anyone.”, purred the small cat somewhere in the dark.

Fili nodded, turned and looked straight at Kili.

“You are a Witch?” he asked breathlessly.

“Not A witch. The witch. The first one. Didn’t you listen?”, Fili smiled at him and lifted his hand to Kilis cheek.

“Oh.”, Kili mumbled. Then he was gone.

Fili felt arms come around him from behind, lifting him up.

“Kili!” He yelled and grinned. “Put me down!”

“No. I have you now. And I will take you as mine. Now, Uncles - if you will excuse us?”

Kili didn’t wait for any answer and was already out of the ballroom, running to his own personal room. Fili in his arms, laughing happily.

When the door slammed closed behind them, Fili was still laughing.  
And only Kilis lips got him to stop. When they parted Fili started to laugh again.

“Primus?”

Kili gasped “No!” he whined. “How do you know?!”

“The Morgue. I was waiting there, when they showed up.”, Fili leaned their heads together. “You have a very tasteful grave.”, he whispered.

\-----

Kili bit once again into Filis neck, but he didn’t suck.  
He was not hungry, not anymore. Just possessive.

His Mate was a Witch, a very powerful one too.  
Kili hadn’t really understood the quick explanation he had gotten, but Fili’s reassurance that his contract with the demon was no danger to him had calmed him.

Fili turned around in his arms, groaning.

“Why are you awake?” he whined and pulled at the blanket. “You ungodly beast.” But there was no malice in the words.

“Your ungodly beast.”, Kili grinned and kissed Fili.

They would have eternity to tell each other everything.  
And Kili knew that Fili’s life story would be the best one he would ever hear.  
He was already giddy to hear how he met Nori and get a better and longer explanation about Bofur.

“Why the High Heels?” he asked.

“Mh?”

“Why did you wear High Heels?”  
“Look good in them. And in that way I wouldn’t have to stretch up to kiss you.”, Fili hit him on his shoulder. “Now shush. Need sleep.”


End file.
